funny quotes about life goodreads
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Life Quotes
Quotes tagged as "life"
Showing 1-30 of 69,833
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
―
Marilyn Monroe
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,Love like you'll never be hurt,Sing like there's nobody listening,And live like it's heaven on earth.”
―
William W. Purkey
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
―
Mae West
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
―
Robert Frost
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
―
Oscar Wilde
“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
―
Narcotics Anonymous
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
―
Andre Gide,
Autumn Leaves
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
―
Albert Einstein
“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
―
Mark Twain
“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”
―
Allen Saunders
“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
―
Marilyn Monroe
“Everything you can imagine is real.”
―
Pablo Picasso
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
―
Dr. Seuss
“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
―
George Bernard Shaw
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
―
Dr. Seuss,
Happy Birthday to You!
“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
―
Woody Allen
“Sometimes people are beautiful.Not in looks.Not in what they say.Just in what they are.”
―
Markus Zusak,
I Am the Messenger
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
―
Albert Einstein
“Who are you to judge the life I live?I know I'm not perfect-and I don't live to be-but before you start pointing fingers...make sure you hands are clean!”
―
Bob Marley
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.”
―
John Green,
Looking for Alaska
“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”
―
Jess C. Scott,
The Intern
“Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears."After all this time?""Always," said Snape.”
―
J.K. Rowling,
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
―
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.”
―
Sylvia Plath,
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
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HomeMy BooksBrowse ▾RecommendationsChoice AwardsGenresGiveawaysNew ReleasesListsExploreNews & InterviewsArtBiographyBusinessChildren'sChristianClassicsComicsCookbooksEbooksFantasyFictionGraphic NovelsHistorical FictionHistoryHorrorMemoirMusicMysteryNonfictionPoetryPsychologyRomanceScienceScience FictionSelf HelpSportsThrillerTravelYoung AdultMore Genres
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Humor Quotes
Quotes tagged as "humor"
Showing 1-30 of 40,544
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
―
Albert Einstein
“So many books, so little time.”
―
Frank Zappa
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
―
Mae West
“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
―
Narcotics Anonymous
“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
―
Jane Austen,
Northanger Abbey
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
―
Steve Martin
“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
―
Mark Twain
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
―
Douglas Adams,
The Salmon of Doubt
“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
―
Garrison Keillor
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
―
Robert A. Heinlein
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
―
Charles M. Schulz
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
―
Jim Henson
“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
―
Woody Allen
“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
―
Paul Terry
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
―
Groucho Marx
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
―
Charles Bukowski
“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
―
John Green
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
―
Terry Pratchett,
Diggers
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
―
George Carlin
“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
―
Benjamin Franklin Wade
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
―
W.C. Fields
“I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
―
Charles M. Schulz
“Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
―
Suzanne Collins,
The Hunger Games
“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
―
Jane Austen,
Pride and Prejudice
“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
―
Lewis Carroll
“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?""Yes," said Harry stiffly."Yes, sir.""There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
―
J.K. Rowling,
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
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